"High apple pieeeeee in the skyyyyy hopes" is what I had for this movie. Why you ask? Because the first one was so fucking amazing and scared me to the point I couldn't walk around my house without lights on for a very long time. It also didn't help that it was marketed as 'based on a true story', which at the time I took 100% seriously. Normal people wouldn't even think of what a sequel would be about or even attempt it. That's where I come in. I got super excited when I heard that a second movie was coming out TEN YEARS later. Yup, they waited ten years to produce this legit joke of a movie.
Let's start with the cast. Martin Henderson (Mike), Christina Hendricks (Cindy), Bailee Madison (Kinsey) and Lewis Pullman (Luke). Right off the bat I thought we had a great ensemble to work with. For one, Martin Henderson is a really wonderful horror movie actor. From The Ring, to X - he knows what he's doing. Of course Christina Hendricks will always be Joan from Mad Men so seeing her in a horror role was new. I'm not totally familiar with the two playing their children, but honestly - nothing to write home about when it came to their acting abilities in this particular movie lol.
We get a glimpse of what can presumably be the first murders by Dollface and Pinup Girl, although we don't actually get to see it happen. A lot of the premise of this film mirrors the first one. They decide to go to a getaway with their uncle before sending off Kinsey to boarding school. Right off the bat, she deserves to go. I wanted to punch her in the face the entire movie. Once they're at the trailer (yes, a trailer. Not a cabin or any place giving a remotely safe vibe) there is a knock on the door from Dollface asking if Tamara is home. These masks are awful. Plain and simple. Also her mask makes her look like Leslie Bibb, especially in the poster. (My apologies to Leslie Bibb).
The movie moves at a fast pace in comparison and the murders and deaths are way more gory and lazy. Cindy dies way too quickly in my opinion - with absolutely no effort in trying to survive. After Mike and Luke find Uncle Marvin and his wife's bodies mutilated, Mike gets an ice pick to the throat after crashing his car, which probably would have killed him anyway. Leaving the kids to basically fend for themselves in the lamest chase/attack scenes I've ever seen. Kinsey gets chased down by Dollface only to pull down her mask and ask why she's doing this. Instead of the famous line from the first movie we get a new one, "Why not?". Definitely not as creepy as "Because you were home." but I guess it'll make do. Luke gets chased down by the Man in the Mask IN A POOL which legit gave me panic attacks. You can't run in a pool - why try?!
The ending of the movie becomes open ended as while recovering in the hospital and Luke still in a coma, Kinsey hears a loud knock on the door while getting up for water. OOOOOOO bone chilling. Not really, just super lame. Like the entirety of this film lol. Again, I really wish it would have given us a ton more and better homage to the first. Also I'm not sure what Pinup Girl was getting paid but she was slacking in the murder department and barely had any screen time.
DMDb rating:
1 Stab - no shock value, no point
How many 'Stabby Stabs' would you give this movie?
- 0%1 (Who would watch this voluntarily?)
- 0%2-3 (Entertaining, yet ridiculous)
- 0%4-5 (How has this not won awards?!)
- 0%0 (Never saw it, but loved the recap)
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