If you’re looking for a Hershey’s kiss with an Irish twist, this cocktail is gonna grant your wish. A simple 2:1 ratio of Guinness beer to chocolate milk will take you straight to the Cliffs of Moher with a suave and dashing Irishman.

Just like the movie Irish Wish, it doesn’t sound like it should work, but it kind of does? If you don’t believe us, come listen to our latesr episode so we can tell you why this movie doesn’t ENTIRELY deserve the hate.

Of all the things consumed in Nowhere (a moist sandwich, raw fish, and a placenta), we decided to base our cocktail on the only food item that was never actually consumed for some reason...the victory Snickers. Celebrate the dubious win of making it through this movie without suffering from a panic attack with our TO DIE FOR (literally) Snickers Martini.

A 3:2:1 of creme de cacao, rumchata and vodka creates a flavor combination worth risking your second-born child for, and a crushed peanut and caramel rim is the perfect finishing touch. If you like feeling unsettled and anxious for two hours straight, check out Nowhere on Netflix and then come listen to our soothing recap wherever you listen to podcasts.

Communism is making a comeback, so let's pour one out for Mrs. Thornton, Brad Rayberry, Hiram Lodge, and anyone else accused of vaguely un-American activities in this season of Riverdale.

To make our Red Scare, add a couple shots of your finest Russian vodka to some cherry seltzer (a splash of Malibu rum adds a bit of MURICAAA, in case you're worried about being flagged by the FBI), and don't forget the grenadine, which will give it that signature color we like to call "socialist red." If you're confused about why there's so much commie talk right after a most American holiday, check out our Riverdale recaps for more info!

If you've "Got Milk," then you can make this week's signature cocktail, the Lactose Intoxicant. Inspired by Riverdale's latest (if not the greatest) serial killer, the Milkman, this yummy concoction will almost make you forget that none of the murders, hook-ups or social activism actually matter this season because we're still stuck in an alternate timeline in the 1950s!

To make the Lactose Intoxicant, just follow a 1:1:2 ratio of banana liqueur, creme de cacao and half & half, and in no time, you'll be showing your panties to a national audience on Riverdale Grandstand! If you have no idea what we're talking about, catch up on Season 7 happenings by listening to our recaps available now on every streaming platform you can think of.

f you want to feel a fraction of the discomfort that we experienced watching I'm Thinking of Ending Things, then drink this ice cold milkshake in the middle of February and question your life choices.
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To recreate this very obvious rip-off of a Dairy Queen Blizzard from the movie, you'll need 10 oz. vanilla ice cream, 1/2 c. bourbon, 1/2 c. rumchata and ~10 ice cubes. Proportions are not an exact science so experiment until you achieve your desired consistency.
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Crush 4 or 5 Oreo cookies and stir those in after everything is blended so they don't get too mushy. Garnish with more cookie crumbles and some whipped cream, and you've got an Oreo Brrr-bon Milkshake! Please enjoy from the warm safety of your own home (not on the side of a road somewhere in the middle of a snowstorm) and listen to our latest episode available to download now!

Get your gingerbread seasoning ready to make this festive cocktail! Wait, you don't have gingerbread seasoning? How about the ashes of an executed serial killer? No?! Guess we'll have to mess around with dark resurrection magic another time.

Instead, you can just combine equal parts of vodka and Bailey's, plus gingerbread syrup to taste. We added whole milk to ours, but if you want a cocktail that's going to leave a more lasting impression (like Gary Busey in The Gingerdead Man), you can leave that part out or just use a splash.

We hope everyone has the happiest of holidays, and don't forget to check out our Gingerdead Man episode while you're heading home for Christmas! And as always, drink responsibly!

This perfectly pink cocktail is just like a 1950s Victory Project housewife -- pretty but capable of doing some serious damage to the patriarchy. All you need to make the Victory Martini is some tequila rose and a bit of vodka and, darling, your worries will be gone in no time!

So kick up your kitten heels and check out our upcoming episode on Don't Worry Darling, a movie we both enjoyed and yet still don't fully understand. Can anyone explain the plane? Let us know in the comments!

In the immortal words of Bret Michaels, "Every rose has its thorn." However, our experience watching Teeth was more like every horny dude gets a thorn right to the dick. Unlike the many sexual predators in the movie, our cocktail, the Horny Thorn, goes down real smooth.

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Combine equal parts Baileys and Tequila Rose, then add a splash of peach seltzer (not too much or you'll run into a texture issue, trust us) and a dash of grenadine, and you'll be on your way to forgetting the gratuitous penis carnage you just witnessed.

We actually recommend that you drink this cocktail PRIOR to viewing The Midnight Meat Train, as we discovered the hard way that watching some dude scrape barnacles off his chest into little jars for safekeeping is actually pretty nauseating and might make you look at bacon a little differently. Plus, you'll want to get nice and toasty before getting on this express train to madness.

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This is a quick and easy 3-ingredient cocktail -- all you need is bacon-infused vodka, pineapple seltzer and a bacon strip for garnish! Meat-based cocktails seem like a bad idea, but if you need further convincing, check out our episode on The Midnight Meat Train to hear just how much fun we had with this bacony beverage!

Described as "a fistful of caffeine to the kisser," Punch is the energy drink fueling Nick Cage throughout the cinematic masterpiece known as Willy's Wonderland. So we made our own version we like to call Knockout Punch to help us process the trauma of watching it, and it can be described as a fistful of caffeine to the kisser except the fist is a Long Island Iced Tea.

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Mix equal parts rum, tequila, vodka, gin and blue curacao, then add as much of your favorite energy drink as you think is wise (we used the peach mango variety of Bang). P.S. Dawn reported ZERO hangover from this bev, so we might really be onto something here. 😂

Inspired by the "free range, whole wheat, sugar free" doughnut of the same name (that's right, ladies and gentlemen, we let the questionable writers of the movie name our beverage this time around and we sort of regret it), the DoucheNut is basically a jelly doughnut in a shot glass.

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All you need is Chambord and Bailey's, and you'll feel like you're one of the lucky Dandy Donuts customers! In case you've already listened to our episode and know what happens to people who eat doughnuts in this movie, just know that we both tested this Douchenut recipe and did not shart out our intestines. If that ain't a ringing endorsement...🍩🎉

POV: You are a car tire that randomly gains sentience out in the middle of the desert. After rolling around all day exploding small animals and people's heads with your telekinesis, your little rubber mouth is parched. There's only one thing that can quench your thirst.

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Fat Tire Belgian Ale, sour apple mix, and your favorite liquor (we used vodka, but tequila or rum would work just as well). Garnish with a lime wedge, and now you're peeling out.

If Jason Segel had added a little tequila to his orange juice, this whole movie might have gone differently. Alas, he stayed sober and we were subjected to 94 minutes of suspicious glances, anemic character development, and pretentious "old Hollywood" vibes. Fortunately, we had the good sense to get drunk before reliving it all for the pod. 🍹🍊
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The Hostage Citru-ation is a delightful combination of tequila, Sunny D, seltzer, and a splash of grenadine. (We added a shot of blackberry liqueur to the second round, and we liked that even better!)

Picture this: You’re lounging poolside with a refreshing cocktail. It’s 10 a.m. on a Tuesday morning, but you don’t care. You don’t have a job. You technically have a kid, but she’s six, so like…she’s got it figured out. Your only concern is that your latest lover has been missing for several days and your husband has been looking a little murdery. It’s probably fine, though. Consequences aren’t real for you.

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Add a shot of coconut rum to a glass of prosecco, along with a splash of your preferred fruit juices to enjoy this ode to Melinda’s free-wheeling lifestyle in our next cinematic catastrophe, Deep Water! The episode drops next Tuesday, 4/5 and you cannot miss this one!

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It's #ThirstyThursday again! Celebrate this week with our Uncut Gems inspired cocktail, the Blackberry Opaltini. This beverage is all flash but nothing super special, just like the movie that served as its muse. 💎
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Use equal parts rum and blackberry schnapps, and then top with as much seltzer as you desire. Those lovely ice cube gems were created with simple food coloring, and if you let them fully melt, your drink will resemble dirty dishwater, so we recommend you slurp this one down fast. 

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This is one of our favorite #tbt cocktails based off of a Riverdale episode from Season 5 (Ep. 13 -Reservoir Dogs). ‘Twas a season of unmistakable product placement and this is dedicated to Cinnamon Toast Crunch! 
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Over ice, mix 2 parts vanilla vodka, 2 parts seltzer and 1 part cinnamon simple syrup. You can add more seltzer if you don’t wanna get sloshed. Crush up some Cinnamon Toast Crunch to apply to the rim and voilà.

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If you're looking for a ~perfect pairing~ for your #Valentine viewing, try our David Berry-anaz Margarita! 🍓🍹
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Use equal parts of tequila, blackberry liqueur and lime juice (feel free to substitute any fruity liqueur or fruit juice of your choice). Start with a cup of frozen strawberries and a cup of ice and assess the consistency. Add more for a thicker marg. Simple syrup is not necessary but can be added for extra sweetness!